Humor: Doing your Kanye Best


Parker Murray

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We all know that Kanye West is a true American genius, just look at all the art that he’s put out this week, his new album, The Life of Pablo, his clothing line, what more could we ask of him besides guidelines on how to live life?

As many already claim to do, and I know I do, I’ll teach you, as a Grand Valley State University student, how to live like the 38-year-old man from Chicago already does. It’s time to be your Kanye Best.

As we all already know, Kanye West is more than a man, likely the reason you’re choosing to emulate his lifestyle choices in the first place. Kanye West is more than you, he’s more than me, he’s more than all us.

The only people that can even consider being close to him in human worth are the likes of Beyonce and Jay Z, but even they can’t hold a candle to the likes of Kanye West.

So how do you be like Kanye West? The first step is to be Kanye Dressed – just look at the clothing line He put out just this week. Wow. Make sure to put on your yeezy boosts and go take on the world the same way Kanye West does everyday.

Sure, the clothing line allegedly put him $53 million in debt, and sure the shoes may cost as much as $3,500 but if you can’t afford to Kanye Invest in style, then you have no business emulating this ascended being in the first place.

Now that your clothes are up to the Kanye Test, you have to ask what to do when you’re feeling Kanye Stressed. The answer is simple, I Kanye Profess, it’s to lash out on anyone that disagrees with you.

He’s been teaching us as early as 2009, he’s been showing us his way as long as six years ago, from his beef with Taylor Swift to Wiz Khalifa, he shows us not take to take anything from anyone. He’s famous, he’s Kanye West. He’s more than us.

Now that you’re starting to get the idea of what it means to be as much of a genius as he, something that few mortals can comprehend, you must know what to do when your business ventures need funding.

No need to be Kanye Distressed, he has shown us The Way. The best thing to do is ask one of your friends on a social media platform as he did with Mark Zuckerberg. He has shown us The Way. He shall not fail in receiving a billion dollars from such a lesser being.

Let us not forget that he is more than man, he knows all. He is Kanye Blessed. Just look at his album release on Tidal – he cares about art, nay, he is art. That’s why he released his album on the very niche streaming site. As Jay Z said, it’s to get everyone to care about music again, to recognize it’s value.

He knows best, Kanye West knows what’s Kanye Best, and as well a know, true art has a monetary value.