Presidential youtubers gone wrong (Clickbait)

Athena Jasman, Columnist

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Americans are, and have always been, ahead of every other country since the bombs bursting in air gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. What we red, white, and blue-bloods are best at is implementing democracy and doing so in the most effective way possible.

So it’s no surprise that the American government is naturally ahead of the curve by soon using YouTube opinion surveys as our primary way of voting for the next elected official of our blooming federal branches.

I was a little taken aback when I first came across a YouTube ad that wasn’t a watchable commercial, but instead a multiple-choice opinion survey about which shampoo brands I trust the most. But I’ve since gotten used to those, and I was much less shocked when I recently received my very first Youtube presidential candidate multiple-choice survey that replaced the Skip Ad button with a “Vote for Hillary” option.

I mean, what better way to get a youth such as myself to vote? Absentee ballots were okay, but it still required me to, like, buy a stamp? I wouldn’t know where to get one of those — I’ve never even seen an Instagram ad for stamps.

Anyway, I of course knew my choice would be binding, and that I had to cast my vote for the 2020 Presidential Election before watching the video I had clicked: “I Built a Giant Meatball in Minecraft (emotional).” So after I carefully chose the most obvious candidate out of the multiple choice list (the one with the most logical and sane approach to all the important policies. You know the one), and finished my very important architectural video, I decided to check up on what our current president was doing.

Trump’s Twitter had lost its luster and became too boring for my little millennial-smooth brain, so naturally I went to his YouTube channel instead. The first video of his I watched was “Donald Trump Plays Fortnite (Liberals Destroyed),” which was actually a part of a short series on his channel entitled “Donald Trump Fortnite,” or “DTF” as most refer to it.

It soon became clear that #NotMyPresident wasn’t getting very far in the battle royale game — mostly because he still hasn’t figured out how to build a wall. So I moved on to another one of his videos entitled “DEM DISS TRACK (D-Trump)” where the incumbent had a drone take footage of him dropping bombs and flexing the White House before sending it in Iran’s direction to drop more bombs. Later in the diss track, he called the drones back to get more shots of himself instead.

I haven’t watched many videos posted on the channel of the president or any of the presidential candidates until the 2020 presidential election was finalized the following year, and I saw that the new democratic president posted a video.

It began with “Hey, whats up America? Make sure to SMASH that vote button and click the liberty bell if you want to see more of me pulling EPIC pranks on the Republicans.” Once I finished watching, I clicked off of “PRANK ON PRESIDENT (GONE WRONG) (NOT CLICKBAIT)” and logged back on to Twitter.