During this quarantine, pretty much the entire country has been trapped in their house, scrolling through their twitter timeline and learning how to bake various things. In the time spent not worrying about this pandemic, I got to watch a lot of quality movies or read a few amazing books. Every movie on this list is available on either Netflix or Hulu, all you got to do is steal your roommates password or something. In an effort to keep myself pre-occupied, I have written a series of reviews of these movies, all of which are 19 words or less. Because hey, what else am I going to do with no sports being on?
If you have a 19-word review of a movie you love that you think would make a great addition to a future volume of this column, simply email it to [email protected] Stay safe out there, fellow home bodies.
Big Time Adolescence
Pete Davidson is a very convincing burnout and hilarious, Griffin Gluck breakout movie, this is your brain on drugs
Underrated rom com, The girl was hilarious and the guy was meh, Ed Begley Jr is a great dad
Clever concept, Jokes aren’t great but storyline is, why is every guy in these movies kind of an asshole? #Journalism
Tom Segura: Ball Hog
A lot of comics try to be offensive for shock value. Segura does it but he’s a freaking genius
The Social Network
So captivating. Characterization through lawsuits is smart. Jesse Eisenberg is a lovable prick. How do people code when drunk???
Olivia Wilde is solid, I love the guy from new girl, but how do you cheat on Anna Kendrick?
The perks of being a Wall Flower
Emma Watson is captivating, this movie will make you cry, I hope to one day find my tunnel song
Set It Up
Pro tip: don’t wear a suit to a baseball game and remember their favorites. Fall in love over pizza
Coffee and Kareem
Confusing plot , Ed Helms is great at being awkward, Taraji P. Henson is way too good for this movie
Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell
Makes you rethink the way you think of success. Canadian parents need to procreate in April for Hockey’s sake
Matt Damon and Ed Norton are an excellent pair, girlfriend’s a wet blanket, let’s go play some f*cking cards
Angelina Jolie is a badass, but even she must be in pain after jumping into water from an airplane
The Green Hornet
Seth Rogen is hilarious, isn’t great at being an asshole, the action is decent, and the tech is sick
Jessica Chastain’s performance is subtle but remarkable. This movie makes you want to play poker, Idris Elba is brilliant
Jamie Foxx should have gotten all the awards, Leo is perfect foil, you can’t take eyes off the screen
Murray isn’t just funny, but a damn good actor. Murray isn’t just funny, but a damn good actor
(I know it’s 18, but they both have contractions, so I’m counting them each as 1.5 words, so the math works out)
An accurate depiction of middle school and its friendships, and the bean bag boys could be future comedy stars
The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
Reading about social epidemics is a great distraction from an actual pandemic. Also, we should’ve watched Blues Clues more
A lot of smart, fast, quips. I want to watch anything Issa Rae and/or Kumail Nanjiani are in