Four years ago, downloading dating apps seemed like a rite of passage in college. I remember bonding with my freshman year roommates by swiping on each others’ phones, reading text message exchanges and sharing online dating horror stories. Dating apps can seem like a good place to start meeting others when entering college. Maybe you just want to talk to new people, or maybe you want to jump into the deep end of the dating pool– either way, you’re likely turning to apps like Tinder, Bumble or Hinge.

However, I’ve started to think that this is no longer the case. Since my first year of college, I’ve seen more and more posts about how people want to meet someone authentically. I’ve heard stories in class about how many of my peers simply don’t support the culture surrounding dating apps anymore. Can you really blame them?

There have been many studies conducted about how the use of dating apps can have negative effects on mental health. According to the British Psychological Society, not only does frequent usage of dating apps cause increased loneliness and symptoms of depression, but it can also lead to low self-esteem, and even burnout. 

Many regular users of these apps claim that the act of swiping through profiles eventually becomes a mindless habit. Many people scroll through apps such as Tinder without even reading the profiles, and messages with matches go unread because one of the parties isn’t actually interested. It can be a cruel cycle, so no wonder many people are proclaiming dating apps to be a waste of time. In my opinion, there are better ways to meet a romantic partner that have been utilized long before the creation of dating apps.

One way is through mutual friends. Many people are turning to their friends to set them up, and it makes sense. The default commonality of having a mutual friend with someone can be an instant icebreaker. People close to you generally have a good sense of your “type,” and which qualities you look for in a significant other– meaning they might find you a better match than through an app.  

Another way people are replacing dating apps is by meeting people through organizations or at social events. If you’re volunteering with a specific group and meet someone, you already have a good idea of things the person is interested in or passionate about. You can also gauge how someone likes to spend their time and which types of activities they prioritize. This can make it easier to see if their values and schedules align well with yours.

In general, someone can get a much better idea of who someone is by meeting them in person rather than online. When creating profiles for popular dating apps, someone can spend their time choosing their best photos, googling witty pick up lines and coming up with five basic interests to try to paint a picture of themselves. When meeting face-to-face, a person’s style, sense of humor and personality can come through a lot better.

I feel this all contributes to more people moving away from dating apps and towards real-life connections, and I think that’s a good thing. Meeting someone in person can get you out of your comfort zone and improve communication with other people in your community. I encourage everyone to make the first move and delete those dating apps.