If you’re reading this, you’re probably sitting in the first day of classes during this spring semester.

That’s great. Anyone looking to sacrifice the opportunity to stay up until 3 a.m. every night and go to class when everyone else is enjoying a day of sun at the beach in Grand Haven is, well, a dedicated scholar in my mind.

But really, the summer sun is perfect most of the time, but once June rolls around and you’re too poor to even buy lunch off the McDonalds Dollar Menu it’s time to get motivated and get a job.
I hate summer jobs. Maybe that’s because I don’t have one yet — or maybe it’s because the paycheck I’m getting for writing this column just ain’t cuttin’ it (hint, hint!). Maybe it’s the fact that, being from Muskegon and the lakeshore, I love going to the beach and would love nothing more than to be paid to sit in the sand with a soda pop all day.

Fact is, that’s not it works, and I, like most of you, am stuck in the awkward purgatory known as college unemployment. It’s great because you really have no commitments to deal with — most of the time weekdays blend in with weekends — but there’s also the being broke aspect.

All college students are inherently poor, or at least that’s what the movies tell me, and having a job in the summer is supposed
to be awful.

We love doing the fun stuff, and there’s no way cutting grass and picking up garbage on the highway all day is fun. Believe me, I’ve done that, it’s just as awful as it looks when you drive by in your air conditioned cars and honk at those workers.

Jobs are supposed to be easy to find in the summer. As college students, we’re not supposed to be given the big middle finger of true unemployment until after we receive our degrees.

Every single one of us thinks we’re too good to buss tables and put together bad-tasting Doritos Tacos, but that sad fact is, no one is.
I’m going to be the “tell it like it is” guy: you’re unemployed, and you’re going to need a job for three months. It’s going to be terrible, and you’re likely going to make minimum wage, making things that much more terrible.

Maybe you’ll do great things at this magical summer job. There’s the possibility for promotion, but again, I don’t know if it’s worth being the head chef at Taco Bell once school starts and people you know start seeing you at work.

Ah, never mind, there aren’t chefs at Taco Bell, they’re called managers. I was just trying to be nice to my favorite fast food joint.

Regardless, it’s summer and no matter how much fun you and your lazy friends think you’re going to have, it’s just not going to go that smoothly.

Don’t blame me though, chances are by the time you’re reading this, I’ll be prepping that Doritos Taco you’re about to eat for lunch.
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