Amusement gained from reading instructions

Anush Yepremyan

Have you ever paid attention to what people write on the packaging or labels of certain products? If not, you have missed the whole entertainment and guaranteed 20 minutes of hysterical laughter. To be honest, some of them make me really wonder if labels were written for Neanderthals rather than human beings of the 21st Century. Or, the alternative: was the person who was writing it in the right state of mind? I think if I put them all together, it would turn into a book that will make you laugh and cry at the same time.

When I was coming to the USA, it took me approximately 24 hours to get to Detroit, taking into account a stop in the Netherlands. What I like about long distance flights is that they take care of your dining. We were served a pack of nuts as a snack before the actual meal. I am that kind of person who likes to check the nutrition facts and calories, which sometimes I might be better off not knowing. But what really caught my attention was the instruction stating, “Open the pack and eat nuts.” Eureka! Genius! I would have had hard time figuring that one out.

Another time, I was helping my aunt buy Halloween costumes for her children. They are 10, eight and two years old. I was astonished by the outfits for kids. I am a fan of Marvel movies and any kind of Sci-Fi films, so I grabbed a superman costume. And guess what did the label said? “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.” What a bummer! I do not even know who to blame: the company or the parents.

Have you ever purchased Fritos chips? I have not, and you will understand why. First of all, I prefer healthy snacks. So I was in that area of the supermarket, and there was a promo for these chips that said, “You could be our winner! No purchase necessary. Details are inside.” Where is the logic? I wish I could meet the person who came up with this.

In another instance, I was invited to a birthday party. I was trying to find a perfect birthday card. I probably spent a good 30 minutes in that section, just because I was distracted by other cute cards. One of them was a birthday card for a one year old with animation on it. The back side just blew my mind; it said, “Not suitable for children aged 36 or less.” No comment!

I guess the moral is “Logic will take you from A to B, imagination will take you everywhere.” – Albert Einstein

[email protected]