Kevin VanAntwerpen

After a lifetime of Sunday school stories, cheesy 80s movies, and one mediocre Dreamworks cartoon about the Israeli’s plight in Egypt, you’d think the conservative Christian community would know it’s a really bad idea to go toe-to-toe with the Jews in the desert. But that didn’t stop Texas State Republican Executive Committee member John Cook from spearheading an attempt to cast out the Jewish Speaker of the House, Joe Strauss, from the Texas House of Representatives.

“We elected a house with Christian, conservative values,” Cook said in an e-mail to another SREC member, which was obtained by “We now want a true Christian, conservative running it.”

Really? Were you even paying attention in Sunday school, Mr. Cook? They have locusts!

But Cook insists it’s really not about Strauss’s faith.

“It’s not anything about Jews and whether I think their religion is right or Muslims and whether I think their religion is right,” Cook said. “I got into politics to put Christian conservatives into office. They’re the people that do the best jobs over all.”

See? It’s not so much that the Jews are wrong as it is the Christians are right. And Profession of Christianity is the number one indicator that a politician will lead the world to sunnier pastures – I mean look at what Hitler (who was raised Roman Catholic, and professed Christianity) did in the name of God.

Cook also went on later to add that he holds several Jews as best friends, and that he’s not a bigot. All I can say to that is of course – there’s a large difference between a bigot and someone who believes Jews can’t work well in politics because they’re Jews. I’m not really sure what that difference is, but when I find out I’ll let you know.

Strauss is the first Jewish speaker of the house in 170 years. The election was held in early January, and Texas voted to keep Strauss in the House. No locusts, rivers of blood, or sticks turned to snakes were reported.

[email protected]