I used to live under the very dangerous assumption that certain personality traits, such as confidence and leadership ability, are set in stone. I thought that you were either born with them or you weren’t, and that your inherent characteristics and inclinations could never be altered to any serious degree and would always define your social abilities and interactions.

I could not have been further from the truth. In fact, I have recently learned that the opposite is much more accurate: While somebody may be petrified by the idea of public speaking, for example, and lack the confidence – or perceived confidence – necessary to provide a riveting presentation, it is still possible for that person to improve these abilities significantly. They do not have to be defined or “doomed” by their current inability or stage fright, as I used to believe.

How can you improve your abilities in these areas, then? One of the easiest ways is simply to “fake it ‘til you make it.”

I have found this saying to be incredibly useful. For example, I used to be very afraid of public speaking. I didn’t think that I had that special spark of charisma, which most successful speakers seem to have in spades, and I doubted that what I had to say would be interesting to the audience I was addressing.

But then I realized something vital: Prior to stepping onstage, public speakers are something of a mystery to their audience members, who don’t necessarily know what to expect. This bit of information can be quite beneficial if you struggle with stage fright, and it ties in directly with “fake it ‘til you make it.”

You can be anybody that you want to be onstage, including somebody who exudes confidence and charisma, and the audience members won’t be any the wiser for it. No matter how nervous you may feel, you can adopt an air of confidence and convince your audience members that you actually are poised, which can help put them at ease. This, in turn, can make you feel genuinely confident.

I used this trick recently when I had to give a speech for a class. My presentation was only five minutes long, but just the thought of it made me nervous. Nevertheless, I was determined to hide that fact. After all, I know from experience that one of the most awkward situations an audience can find itself in is having to listen to a speaker who is clearly and painfully uncomfortable.

Throughout my speech, then, I strove to speak enthusiastically about my topic and convince the audience members that what I had to say was important and relevant. In the end, I managed to convince them of my confidence, which made us both more comfortable.

At some point during your life, you will no doubt have to deliver a speech, whether it’s a toast at a wedding or a presentation at work. If, like most people, you struggle with stage fright, try “faking it ‘til you make it.” With enough effort, you can come across as calm and collected, making your presentation that much more enjoyable for yourself and your audience.

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