In this age of promiscuity and casual sex there is a group of young adults who are saying no and promising to be true to their one and only. These couples are making commitments to each other and getting rings, and no, they aren’t engagement rings, they are pre-engagement rings, also known as promise rings.

Though there is probably a lot of confusion surrounding the rising popularity of these rings. The reason I’m writing about this is that I myself have recently gotten pre-engaged to my girlfriend.

What a pre-engagement is is a promise that someday you will actually get engaged, as well as a promise to stay loyal to one another, and to wait for one another. Now you may be thinking, “If you really love her so much, why not get engaged? Why cop out with a pre-engagement?” And that is a good question, something that many people wonder.

One blogger offered this warning about pre-engagement rings, “Women, if a man gives you a promise ring, be cautious. Your first reaction might be of surprise and delight, but you need to realize that this giving of the promise ring means that he is not ready for marriage. If he was ready for marriage, he would have gotten down on one knee and asked for your hand in marriage and given you an engagement ring instead!”

This is a good argument, but here is my reasoning behind my getting pre-engaged. I am in a long distance relationship. We met while working in Disney World but now she goes to school in New Hampshire. We love each other so much and know that one day we will get married once school is over, but we don’t want to get engaged till we are actually together again, thus we became pre-engaged as a promise we will wait for each other and of an outward sign of our commitment to one another.

So if you’re thinking about getting a pre-engagement ring you need to be sure of your intentions, do not use it as a cop-out. If you aren’t ready to get down on one knee and say the vows, then a pre-engagement ring is probably not for you. It is a big deal, and is not something to be taken lightly. I’ve heard of high school kids doing pre-engagement rings, but then break up a few weeks later. You need to know you’re ready for commitment, and make sure your partner knows your intentions and agrees completely with its meaning.

If you’re thinking of giving your special someone a ring, it’s probably important to understand a bit about the history of promise rings.

In the 1500s through the 1700s, European couples exchanged rings to show their intent to become betrothed.

Often, these couples could not yet afford to marry, so they did not want to enter into a binding engagement. Instead, these rings told the world that they planned to wed one day.

More recently they have gained a resurgence in popularity because in 1950, the median age of marriage for American women was 20.3 years. By 1995, women were waiting until 24.5. With so many years between high school and marriage, many couples felt they needed to commemorate the seriousness of their relationship in some way.

And the good thing is that traditionally pre-engagement rings cost considerably less than actual engagement rings.

It definitely can’t be a ring from a cracker-jack box, but it also doesn’t have to break the bank. If you’re planning on buying one soon be sure to do research first on appropriate cost.

The general consensus on most websites I found was between $100 to $200.

As to what finger to wear it on, it all depends on what you and your significant other decide on.

My girlfriend and I decided to actually wear it on our ring fingers as an outward expression to others that we are no longer available, and that our intentions are of marriage.

I would also advise writing a short vow to say to your significant other as you present them the ring.

To quote Nora Ephram from When Harry Met Sally, “When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”

That is what a pre-engagement ring is. It’s when you realize you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, but for whatever reason can’t be actually engaged.

It is not something to be taken lightly, because it is a promise, a promise for life.

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