In an NCAA men’s basketball tournament that many are calling the wildest in history, unpredictability has continued right up to the Final Four. Yet through the muck, mire and feces that cover almost every person’s bracket, one local teen miraculously still somehow smells like roses.

Grand Valley State University freshman Carrie Oakey has done what experts now would call seemingly impossible by having a perfect bracket thus far in the Cbssportsline.com Bracket Challenge.

“It’s not really that surprising to me,” Oakey said. “I mean, it’s not exactly rocket science to try and figure this stuff out. I don’t really understand why so many people are having such fits over their fledgling brackets.”

Oakey, a statistics major, picked all of the wild upsets no one saw coming: UNI over Kansas, Ohio over Georgetown, Cornell over Wisconsin. The odds of getting every single game correct are almost 18 times worse than the odds of being killed from a waterspout (1 in 1.988 billion).

Your bracket may have survived. Your bracket might even be good. Oakey’s is perfect.

“Perfection is something I always strive for,” she said. “Perfect grades, perfect outfits to wear when I get my perfect grades, perfect shoes to match my perfect outfits, everything in my life has to be perfect. Why should a basketball tournament be any different?”

How impossible is such a feat? According to The Book of Odds, the likelihood of filing a perfect March Madness bracket is just 1-in-35.36 billion, or as China markets the bracket to its citizens every year, “We each have a chance.”

Even the probability of getting only the first round of games perfectly correct is just 1-in-13,040, but Oakey said overcoming the odds is nothing new for her.

“When I was a kid, I was scared of everything, which was really difficult to rise above,” she said.

The tournament has proved once and for all this year that mid-major, semi-upper-lower-middle-in-between conference teams should be taken seriously.

“I don’t believe it – it’s incredible,” said GVSU senior Neil Down. “I’ve spent my entire life gathering statistics and comparing odds for every tournament in the hopes of one day marking a complete bracket. For her to actually do it … she must be able to see the future or something.”

Four rounds of perfection is incredibly impressive, but the next step is seeing whether or not Oakey’s magic bracket can go the distance. Yes, her championship game of Michigan State-West Virginia is a bit dubious, but she stands by her choices.

When asked about the amount of upset disparity this season and her ability to choose the correct ones, Oakey’s explanation completely lost this reporter.

“Well, Michigan State’s mascot is the Spartan, and Gerard Butler was just oh so sexy in that movie ‘600’ or ‘100’ or whatever it was called,” she said. “So obviously I want the hunk of manliness to win. And West Virginia are the Mountaineers, and when I marry Gerard I’m going to live with him in the mountains and we can be Mountaineers together, so that’s why I want them to win it all.”

Though her methods might be unorthodox, doubting her now means doubting the one person who somehow managed to get the entire bracket correct thus far. And that’s not going to be me.

Oh, and can someone please warn Oakey to be careful the next time she is around waterspouts?

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