Growing up there are certain movies that act on you in certain ways. For me, when I was young it was Toy Story. I didn’t like the idea that my toys would be all by their lonesome when I was gone, so the fact that these toys led somewhat of a life outside of their owner’s made me happy. 

There is room for more than one movie however, and as I grew older I grew fond of movies such as Hardball (RIP G-Baby), Gladiator, and Training Day amongst others. Regardless of how successful, or even good, each of these movies were, they bring me back to a specific time in my life, and I can remember just what I was thinking when I saw these movies the first time. Luckily for me, no one has attempted to infringe too much on my fond memories. Others weren’t so lucky.

Unfortunately, Hollywood seems to be running out of scripts. There appears to be a proposed remake popping up in the news every couple of weeks, the most recent being Beauty and the Beast, but the most egregious suggestions being The Lion King, The Matrix, and White Men Can’t Jump. Which begs the question, is nothing sacred anymore? 

Instead of taking the hard road and coming up with a movie which is unique in itself, they would rather take a well-liked movie and strip you of your recollections while creating a ‘remake.’ Are we so creatively exhausted that we can’t think of a new plot? While I can understand the financial motivations in trying to recreate these films, I can’t understand any other reasoning. Was The Lion King not good enough the first time around that we have to re-do it? Did Keanu Reeves not do a good enough job portraying Neo? And would any actor tandem playing Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes in a pick-up game to 11 lose by less than ten? Clearly these are rhetorical questions because we both know the answer. No. No, no, and no.

I can’t imagine what would happen if I saw a different Kekumbas team rapping ‘Big Poppa’ in the middle of an actual game. Or rather, trying their hardest to catch the attention of Kris Bryant at Wrigley instead of Sammy Sosa. I’ll tell you for certain it wouldn’t be as good as the original. Unfortunately, this is what we are in the midst of. Fans of Beauty and The Beast are trying to convince themselves that the remake was tolerable. 

I understand, you don’t want to see one of your favorite movies disappoint, but it did. You already knew the story, which in this case isn’t particularly strong to begin with (even the guy who thought his toys were coming to life is suspicious of a ‘beast’ proficient in ballroom), which means you probably liked the original characters, who they changed! Aside from that, with any remake, the connections you made with the original movie just can’t be reinvented.

Recreating a movie is a recipe for disaster, and one that doesn’t have to be encouraged. In fact it should be discouraged. I can’t think of a movie that was better the second time they made it. Basically, I’m just brainwashing all of you to join in my inevitable revolt against Space Jam 2 should they ever actually make it. Long live the original.