When I meet other Grand Valley State University students for the first time, we exchange the usual college pleasantries and inquires, such as “Where are you from? What’s your major? Where did you go to high school?” To this last question, I always answer by saying that I was homeschooled.

Considering that the vast majority of students whom I meet grew up attending some outside educational institution, whether public or private, my response typically garners some degree of interest. My new-found acquaintances will proceed by remarking on the uniqueness of my situation and sometimes by asking me some general questions about my upbringing. Most of these inquiries are posed with genuine interest and well-meaning, while others are not.

For example, I have to grit my teeth whenever I’m asked, “So, did you just stay at home in your pajamas all day?” After being asked questions like this over and over again, I decided it might be interesting and useful to compile a list of some of the most common questions which homeschoolers get asked, along with their answers.

First, allow me to address the pajama question. In short, no, I did not “just stay at home in my pajamas all day” during high school. Although, really, why would that have mattered? If I had to stay at home and do school anyway instead of gallivanting off doing who-knows-what, who cares if I were in my pajamas or not? I could have been just as productive in my pajamas, and I wouldn’t have been jeopardizing my academic or professional reputation by appearing in front of non-familial persons dressed unprofessionally. The reason this question irks me is that by asking about my attire, the inquirer is implying that, had I worn pajamas all day, my work and education and schooling would somehow have been worse. So, even though I (and homeschoolers in general) didn’t wear pajamas at home all day, it really wouldn’t have mattered if I had.

Homeschoolers are also frequently asked, “Wasn’t being homeschooled detrimental to your social development?” Again, the answer is no, and honestly, framing such suggestions as innocent inquiries is essentially equivalent to saying “I’m not being rude,” and then proceeding to say something rude. No, being homeschooled was not detrimental to my social development.

For one thing, my siblings and I had plenty of opportunities to interact with non-related people, whether through organized sports or jobs or hanging out with friends. In addition, we learned not only how to communicate and cooperate appropriately with our peers, but, just as important, we learned how to collaborate particularly well with adults. To this day, I have found this skill to be extremely valuable, and I think it is an often-neglected element of the question about homeschoolers and their social development. In the end, then, my social development was certainly not stunted by being homeschooled; if anything, I benefitted from the emphasis placed on adult association, not simply peer communication.

Finally, some homeschoolers are asked if their high grades are the result of bias due to their teachers being their parents, not neutral third parties. I cannot speak for all homeschoolers, but I would adamantly deny that this a general and common occurrence. For example, consider that some school subjects, such as math, are inherently objective—there is typically only one right answer for a given problem. Therefore, as far as math and other such subjects go, grading cannot be biased. Subjects such as English are, of course, different.

In my particular case, I was fortunate enough to have a mom who majored in English and held writing and editing jobs and therefore knew how to evaluate essays. More generally, homeschoolers oftentimes collaborate with other homeschoolers to form co-ops so that parents who are particularly equipped to teach and grade a certain subject can share their knowledge by leading specialized classes and grading the associated homework.

While some questions (such as the ones answered above) have negative connotations and are sometimes meant to be slights, others are perfectly genuine and welcome, and I and my fellow former homeschoolers would be more than happy to answer them.