Making long distance relationships work
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May 9, 2016
In the past week, I’ve had not one, but two petty arguments with my longtime girlfriend. Now, we don’t argue often, which is why I am riled up. I notice that oftentimes coaches or teachers employ the 24-hour rule, meaning any concerns should be kept to oneself for at least 24 hours in order to eliminate any confrontations brought upon by anger. In this case I will be employing the 24-second rule, meaning I am expressing my concern right now.
The problem with a long distance relationship is everything. Don’t get me wrong, I love my girlfriend, but you’re lying to yourself if you can’t recall a time when you and your significant other were not on the same page. Unfortunately, in a long distance relationship, every argument is tenfold what it would be normally.
Myself, I have no problem with yelling and screaming. My girlfriend would much rather handle things in a more civil way, hence the term “better half,” but I don’t think you can enjoy the highs without experiencing the lows. If you’re allowed to jump up and down and scream when you’re happy, then I’m allowed to express my anger in a similar fashion.
Unfortunately, that’s hard to do over the phone. There are only so many exclamation points a person can send before the point is moot. Why don’t I just call? Because the only time arguments occur is when I’m with my friends. Nothing like getting razzed by your friends while you stick your finger in your ear to drown out the noise.
That’s not even the worst of it though, you might just get ignored. Think of this scenario. You’re in a face-to-face conversation with someone and you simply decide to stop responding. They talk, you just don’t answer. Confused, they say another sentence, only to look upon your blank stare, lips unmoved. That person would probably think something is wrong with you. Yet not only is that abstract idea totally commonplace when texting, it’s the worst.
Still, perhaps the worst thing about a long distance relationship is the different friend group. Sure, I enjoy hanging out and meeting new people, but the fact of the matter remains that I’m here artificially. They are all great people, but I am simply an extension of my girlfriend. If it wasn’t for her, we wouldn’t be hanging out. It doesn’t matter how many random Saturdays I see them, there’s only a certain level of friendship that can be obtained.
The benefits of long distance relationships? Literally nothing. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, I would love to converse with the person that coined that phrase. That’s the key to a healthy marriage, right? “Well we’re still in love after all these years because we don’t see each other for six months out of the year.” As a matter of fact there are several people whom I had love for that I hardly even talk to anymore because I don’t see them.
Still, the heart wants what the heart wants, and couple of hours shouldn’t factor in to whether or not you should date someone.