Imagine this: you spend hours working on an application, whether for college, a job or even a social organization. You take the time to update your resume, write an essay or cover letter and even go out of your way to get letters of recommendation. You really want this opportunity, and then, you don’t hear back. Or, you do and they say “we’re going with another candidate.”
Over the course of an academic career, rejection is much more common than you may think and can typically be categorized into three types– social, professional and self rejection. Regardless of which type of experience you’re going through, rejection can be handled in a healthy way, and you can be directed towards other opportunities.
Social Rejection
This type of rejection stems from your relationships with others. Imagine you’re going into your first semester at college, and you are desperate to find a roommate. It seems that everyone you contact online decides to room with someone else. You think to yourself, why is this? Are you really so horrible to live with? This is a form of social rejection. Another example would be attending a party off campus with some friends. There might be a really cute guy there, and you decide to be bold. You ask for his number, but he doesn’t give it to you. You’d probably walk away feeling embarrassed and rejected. However, what you learn over the years is that everyone feels that way at one point or another. You’re not alone in your discomfort.
Professional Rejection
Now, this can relate to job applications, education or career advancement. Professional rejection can be encountered when moving to your college town, for example. You might be looking for a job and submitting application after application, only to not hear back from the majority of them. Finally, you could be forced to settle for a low-paying customer service job that you really didn’t want, and you find yourself questioning your value as a worker. Later on in your college experience, let’s say you’re wrapping up your undergraduate degree, and you decide you want to go to graduate school. You complete the laborious application process time and time again for however many graduate schools you’re applying to. Finally, you hear back, and your only acceptance was to your safety school. You may feel that sting rejection, but it is okay. You’ll still be taking that step forward, just like how you were paid for the job that wasn’t your first choice.
Self Rejection
Self rejection is a little more complex, as it occurs within yourself, while also feeding off other forms of rejection. Say you worked really hard on a paper, but when you got your grade back, it was graded a “C.” This could be a form of professional rejection, but oftentimes more harm comes from the feelings associated with that grade. You’d likely feel there’s things you should or could have done to get a better grade, and allow this to shake your confidence. Maybe this even causes you to refrain from applying to an internship or a scholarship, as you don’t feel like you deserve it. When you don’t have faith in yourself, you limit your opportunities tremendously.
As you can see, there are many scenarios you may find yourself in that result in feeling rejected. During college, a time of new experiences and change, remember the feeling of rejection and associated experiences do not define you. It’s not the end of the world if someone else was a better fit for a job or opportunity. It just means there’s a better opportunity waiting for you somewhere else. As cliché as it may sound, everything happens for a reason.
