I’m not sure if Apple is releasing a new product or if it’s the dawn of the next apocalypse, but based on the sheer number of Facebook posts and tweets regarding the iPhone 5 I’m betting on the latter.

iPhone’s were revolutionary once, sure, but in a world chalk-full of smart phones and tablets today’s Apple products are nothing more than sexy, one night stands that always leave us wanting more. Hear me out on this one.

Apple takes advantage of consumerism in America. Yes- it is our fault for believing that the iPhone 5 is what will finally bring us the happiness we couldn’t quite grasp with the iPhone 4, but Apple is essentially shining up the old iPhone and presenting it as new and “must-have.”

The major differences between the iPhone 4 and iPhone 5? For one, the iPhone 5 screen is .5 inches bigger. Now our Words With Friends and Angry Birds applications can be on the homepage too. Life changing, isn’t it? It’s thinner as well. Thank god, what if we had stepped on the scale with iPhone 4 in our pocket? We would weigh an extra ounce, that’s what.

Finally the iPhone 5 has 4G LTE (long-term evolution) connectivity (supposedly quicker than before), as well as faster processing. Okay, so this a legitimate selling point, except for the fact that other smart phone companies will be on that technology faster than Usain Bolt down the final straightaway. (Also LTE coverage isn’t available everywhere yet).

To add insult to this $849 dollar injury (the price of a 64 GB iPhone 5 without a contract), all of Apple’s previous iPhone docks, car chargers, and other accessory products will no longer be compatible with this generation of the iPhone. You can; however, buy a $30 dollar adapter to make the old accessories work. Don’t worry, Apple isn’t asking for your firstborn. Yet.

The worst part is that if you look at other Android and Windows smart phones, you still aren’t getting the biggest screen or the best software when you purchase the iPhone 5. What? Other companies have the same technology that Apple does? Absolutely, and most of them won’t charge you through the roof for it.

When we boil it down, in buying the iPhone 5 we aren’t paying for a “new” product that we need, but rather paying to be trendy and cool. If you think that those minor changes in the iPhone 5 are enough to make your life better, than go ahead and get the beloved phone. But you are falling into Apples cunning trap, so don’t cry on my shoulder when the iPhone 5 S comes out in a few months and you are left broken-hearted with an “old” cast-off phone.

As for the die-hard iPhone worshipers who won’t digest a single word of what I just wrote- don’t worry too much about that iPhone 4 tattoo. It can probably be changed into a MacBook or something.