Studying abroad is eye-opening, in every way. It helps a person to grow, to learn and to explore the world and themselves. It is a true challenge that changes a person at their core. This is what we’re all told before we go, and we reiterate the same words when we come back. It’s not untrue, but here’s what we don’t say: study abroad is depressing, lonely and exhausting.

When students talk about studying abroad, they tend to talk about it in a positive light. We do so because we love the country we’re staying in, and much of the time, we’re enjoying ourselves. The pictures we post are of us in world-renowned sites, smiling with friends and all the other pictures that we know our families want to see. However, through only talking about positive experiences and the exciting aspects of our trip, we are doing the world, especially students considering study abroad, a disservice.

Even when we speak of things negatively, we tend to dissociate slightly. In the past, I’ve tried to explain some of the challenges by discussing some of the poverty and inequality Indians experience. I do this not to portray India in a negative light, but rather to give a more holistic view of it.

It is equally important for me to also give you a holistic view of the study abroad experience. It’s not always fun. The fact of the matter is, it’s hard to say “I’m not always okay. Sometimes I’m not okay at all.” So here I am, saying just that. I have a duty to you — my friends, my family, my community, my university and my readers — to be honest.

Sometimes I want to go home. Sometimes I feel like that for days at a time. Sometimes it is almost unbearable. And it doesn’t have to do with which country you’re abroad in. It probably doesn’t help that I’m in the East as opposed to the comfortable, familiar West, but still I firmly believe that wherever you go, you’re going to get homesick if you’re gone for long enough. If you intend on studying abroad, mentally prepare for this.

Sometimes it’s hard. You’ll feel lonely in a sea of people. You’ll miss your friends, your family and the surroundings and support system you’ve grown used to. You won’t know if you’re prepared for the challenges that every day inevitably brings. Even though you don’t know if you can get out of bed, you have to. You don’t know if you can deal with trying to communicate with people who often can’t understand you through linguistic or cultural barriers, but you have to. You don’t know if you can bear another headache from focusing so hard all day on what people are saying. Too bad. And sometimes, you’re just not sure that you can go another day without mashed potatoes. It doesn’t matter. You have to. Most likely, you will second guess your decision to go abroad in the first place.

You’ll be stronger when you get through it, but that means you have to get through it. It’s not a challenge that everyone is up to. I have questioned myself over and over for weeks wondering if I’ve made the right decision.

Ultimately, I have. There are a lot of good days. There are just also a lot of bad ones. It’s not fair to not share this very under-emphasized aspect of studying abroad. It is important to understand that being abroad can bring rough times.