Happy Halloween. I thought instead of ranting about politics or religion, this time I’d give you something more festive. Below is a walkthrough of the most messed up (yet horribly awesome) Halloween costumes I’ve encountered this year.

• The one percent: By far, the best costume idea I’ve seen came from my roommate, who donned an old suit, an ascot, and a tiny name badge that read “1%” (only in place of the little circles, were dollar signs). Then, he spent the rest of the night in character, shouting slogans such as “We’re all on the same side here! … At least all of us who aren’t the 99.” Or even better: “Of course they’re occupying Wall Street. They used to occupy their houses, but then the 99 took those away from them.”

• Couples outfit: Sexy schoolgirl and the professor who gives her good grades. The costume is made even more complete if you bring your actual professor. (I am legally obligated to say don’t actually try to bring your professor, unless you want to spend the rest of your life cooking beef-esque product in the back room of a dying fast food joint.) Also, as nauseating as this costume may be, those kids are some clever bastards.

• Vegetarian Hunter: If there’s one thing that makes Halloween complete, it’s irony. So when a girl who hasn’t eaten meat since she was eight years old dresses up in camouflage and combat boots and carries around a toy rifle, I’m going to be very happy. The only thing — if you’re not wearing a raccoon skin hat to complete the outfit, you’ll probably never understand what it is to be “awesome.”

• Sexy Skunk: Girls, if you like this costume idea, there’s a reason you’re alone.

• Sexy Swamp People: Dressing up like a guy whose years of education equal his amount of remaining teeth? Yum.

• Random: Camouflage sweat pants? Check. Pink spandex shorts to go overtop? Check. Battery powered glowing guitar necklace? Check. Now all that’s required is enough alcohol to give you the courage to make a public appearance.

• Zombie: Really? You decided to go as a zombie for Halloween? You mean to tell me you’re nerdy enough to dress up, but you’re not clever enough to think of something that isn’t being done by 10,000 other people? You disgust me. Go back to your World of Warcraft.

• Ramona Flowers: Dress as the heroine (sort of) from “Scott Pilgrim vs. the World” and there’s a good chance I will kiss you on the lips. It’s the pink/blue hair – definitely attractive.

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