Headline: Major league 

By: Jake Keeley

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Regardless of the outcome of the 2016 Major League Baseball World Series, the Cleveland Indians will never be as exciting as they were when they debuted on the big screen in the 1989 film ‘Major League’. The movie revolves around a rag-tag Cleveland Indians roster of either washed-up or unproven talent thrown together for the sole purpose of tanking the season so that the owner can move her newly inherited team to her ideal location in Miami. Without seeing the movie, you might guess that the team bands together to win the World Series. False, the team does not win the World Series, they win the division. Which begs the question, how did they finish? Well, if the lack of talent on this years Indians team can make the World Series then so can the Indians team from the movie screen. In the world where simulations become closer to reality everyday, I will do my best to simulate a game between these two teams and predict who would win.

The Infield:

Essentially the only infielder that we can evaluate from the film is Roger Dorn. Dorn has long been overpaid, and seemingly has forgotten what got him to the big leagues. Dorn is a below average fielder, who often gives less than 100 percent, however he did get paid for a reason so we give him a plus rating at the plate. On the other hand, Francisco Lindor is one of the best young players in the game right now. Lindor not only has the ability to field his position extraordinarily well, he is also a threat at the plate. Therefore, this years Indians team has the advantage.

The Outfield:

In the movie, Wesley Snipes plays centerfield. That could be my entire rationale for giving the film Indians the edge over the real Indians, but not every person sees the greatness that is Wesley Snipes. He plays Willie Mays Hayes who is incredibly fast not only in the field, but also on the base paths. Alongside Hayes is Pedro Cerrano, who has too many quirks to quantify. He is a power hitter with a high strikeout rate, who struggles extremely with the curveball. This combination of speed and power is ripe for run producing, which is a direct contrast to what we see in the real Indians’ outfield. I won’t waste my time describing any of them, because they are simply average.

Pitchers/Catchers:

In my hypothetical scenario we are only playing a one game playoff, so we are going best on best here. For the film team that means old man, junkballer Ed Harris followed by fireballer Ricky Vaughn in his most effective closer role, with Jake Taylor behind the dish. The real Indians will trot out Corey Kluber, followed by Andrew Miller with Yan Gomes likely catching. Whoever can get their team to the later innings with the least amount of damage done will win. My money is on Kluber, however we can’t discount the craftiness of the veteran Jake Taylor.

Manager:

Lou Brown and Terry Francona are more similar than you might think. Both managers could care less about their public perception, or even the public opinion. However, Francona has been in this situation many times before, therefore the advantage goes to the real Indians.

The way I have it now stands 3-1, 2016 Indians. I must admit that I did try to make the movie team win, however in reality they just aren’t as good as I remember. For example, their best pitcher last played in the California Penal League before the season. To say that both teams caught lightning in a bottle is an understatement, but to say any single team is more interesting than the ‘Major League’ team would be a lie.