For students, nothing is quite as difficult as obtaining food. Some would even argue it is more difficult than obtaining alcohol, but that more depends on who you know …

Either way, it can be hard for college students to find good, nutritious and affordable meals with everything there is to worry about: homework, job-work, the end of the world in 2012. With so much on our metaphorical plate, how can we be expected to fill up a literal plate?

I am here to help and guide you with some helpful, economical tips. In a sense, I plan to fill your mind so you can fill your belly.

Let’s dig in.

Based on your upbringing, you may already know how to cook for yourself. As a self-proclaimed Emeril Lagasse, I fall under this category. I knew how to cook everything … everything that has the word “pop” in it: popcorn, Pop-Tarts and, heck, I could probably whip up some Pop Rocks if I really set my mind to it.

The key to cooking your own meals is finding the right ingredients. From personal experience, ingredients will usually fall under the “bread” category or the “condiment” category. Please feel free to experiment with these categories and see if you can come up with a new and exciting sandwich.

If “ingredients” aren’t really your thing (and really, who can blame you? Choosing between SpongeBob macaroni and Scooby-Doo macaroni is a difficult decision), you can always go out to eat. If you don’t have a meal plan, though, I would suggest eating off-campus, because there is nothing sadder than watching someone convince themselves that it was worth $9 to make his or her own waffle.

Off-campus, there are thousands of different dining establishments (depending on how far you want to drive), and each one has its own appeal. Uccello’s offers discounts to students, McDonald’s offers 24-hour drive-thru and Yesterdog offers imminent digestive distress.

But perhaps you do have a meal plan, in which case you can dine at any of the several eating plazas around campus. Not only do these places serve food, but also they double as a really loud study space!

If you like Chinese food, try Kleiner or Fuel. If you enjoy Subway, try Subway. And if you prefer all-you-can-eat-before-you-complain-of-abdominal-pain, try Fresh Foods.

Fresh is a truly an amazing dining space, with the most variety and the largest portions: buffet style. Pizza, salads, pulled pork sandwiches, and if you choose the right day, you may get a chance to taste the infamous Laker Bowl, a dish that makes you believe in God (unless you already believe in God, in which case, it makes you believe in another God).

Hopefully this guide was somewhat helpful. I know that finding the right things to eat can be difficult, especially at this time when our bodies are changing and appetites out-of-control (at least, that’s what my sixth grade guidance counselor told me would happen). But if you look hard enough, you can always find something to consume for cheap. It won’t be healthy, but let’s be real here; the world ends in 2012 anyway. Plan accordingly.

[email protected]