As midterms begin preparation stages and professors start to make mountains out of homework molehills, sleep tends to take a back seat. Of course, with how much college students abuse slumber time, sleep not only takes a back seat, but it gets the middle seat.

Sadly, with the recent banning of alcoholic energy drinks and 5 Hour Energy tasting like the inside of a garbage can, there aren’t many options left for students at Grand Valley State University looking for a legitimate pick-me-up.

…When you forget coffee…

If there is one beverage that college students drink more than cheap beer, it’s coffee, and unlike alcohol-tinged beverages, we will pay any price for it.

Now, I have no problem with people enjoying coffee, but to me, it seems as though those people pretty sparse. Instead of people drinking coffee for the taste, they drink it for the sense of community — everyone drinks coffee, but only if it doesn’t taste like coffee.

I firmly stand by my belief that the sugar and cream industries would crumble if Folgers ever closed up shop.

Or should I say, “shoppe?” Yes, with the rise in popularity of coffee comes the restaurants that serve it exclusively. While I personally despise the taste of anything ending in ccino (capp, frapp-, Al Pa-), I understand the appeal of such an establishment – Maxwell House can’t serve itself all the time, so these other coffee houses must brew it for you.

However, as I stated earlier, the prices are astronomical. By this, I mean that — much like how astronomers introduce new, unnecessary zodiacs — coffee shoppes often take advantage of the high demand for their product and introduce new, unnecessary prices. With no sense of self-control or -respect, we pay whatever the exorbitant fee is, just to satisfy a “caffeine addiction.”

It is sad to say that this addiction is a real thing, and scientific experts (those non-specific dudes in white lab coats) will be the first to admit that caffeine is actually a drug, much like cocaine or heroin, just without the Academy Award-winning movies about its trafficking. In fact, most people who drink coffee on a semi-regular basis would be considered “addicts.”

For the cost of a cup of coffee, you feed your addiction. Several times. Every day.

Isn’t it time you take a break and find something else to wake you up in the morning … and after your first class of the day … and after lunch? Tea is really starting to become popular, and if pretentiously informing everyone that you drink tea sounds alluring, it’s a practical option.

This isn’t to take jabs at anyone who drinks coffee. Rather, just think of it as food for thought — free, unfiltered and non-addicting food. Purchasing less coffee will be good on your wallet or purse or money clip and may even cure you of one of those nasty addictions.

Then you can feel free to work on fixing that disturbing trash can-licking addiction.

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