I guess it’s been pretty much confirmed: Taylor Lautner from “Twilight” is coming to Grand Valley State University.

Or Western Michigan University.

At some point.

So, actually nothing has been confirmed, except that T-Law (as I call him) wants to go to a university near where he grew up. This should be exciting for everyone.

It’s hard to shake the notion of how awesome it would be to have Taylor Lautner as a roommate. Now, I don’t know the gent personally, but he certainly sounds like a “chick magnet.” This would explain why compasses don’t work in his general vicinity.

Just picture this in your mind, even if you have an irrepressible hatred for “Twilight”: upon arriving to your dorm freshman year, you notice your first name on the door next to “Taylor,” which— depending on the gender of your RA— would have a large paper heart taped to it.

Later that day, after unpacking and making your bed, you hear the doorknob squeak behind you as your new roommate enters. Without looking, you mutter a “Sup?” to the person you’re going to be living with for the whole school year, despite their androgynous name. As you turn to make eye contact, he takes off his $400 sunglasses and you cock your head in a slow-creeping recognition. You’ve seen his face before, but you can’t figure out where.

Then you realize: everywhere. Posters, video stores, your mom’s coffee mug. It’s Taylor Lautner, the guy that your ex-girlfriend worships more than oxygen, the guy that dated Taylor Swift, the guy that is going to be your wingman for the next nine months.

You give yourself a mental high five and thank the upper deities that you didn’t cash in your good karma playing that intense match in “Halo: Reach.”

Of course, this isn’t to say that T-Law is just some person to be used willy-nilly. He has feelings, thoughts and a six-pack that would make the Spartans from “300” jealous. I genuinely believe that he could be a cool person to have as a friend and chat about normal-people things (on the one night out of the week when you two aren’t scoping out girls at Kleiner). Possible topics for conversation could be:

• How many limos have you been in?

• Is David Letterman really nice?

• What’s it like to kiss a girl?

I bet that Mr. Lautner is just dying to have a less-than-famous friend and would be more than excited to help a bro out. After all, it wasn’t long ago when he was just a Grand Rapids boy himself, before Hollywood turned him into a werewolf. He would probably jump at the opportunity to help out his community by raising our status from “D-II university with exceptional football team” to “D-II university with Taylor-fricking-Lautner.”

Honestly, “famous-by-association” is the only way to get known these days.

So, if this is any persuasion, Mr. Lautner, please feel free to stop by campus sometime soon. I may have a roommate for you next year …

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