Okay, I don’t have very many of these left, so I’ll skip a prolonged introduction and get right to the meat of what I want to talk about (hey, it’s not Meatless Monday, so I can say that guilt-free).

College changes everything.

I spent Easter weekend in my hometown to help my mom move to Lansing — essentially, it was “Here, Christopher, why don’t you celebrate the resurrection of Christ by getting this washing machine out of here?” But while I was back in my hometown for what was possibly the last time until my 10-year reunion (Nametag: Chris Slattery, still unemployed), I found every single project I did in high school.

Now, we can all agree that hindsight is 20/20, but I was a weird kid. I’m not saying that in a jokey, self-deprecating way, but in a legitimate, socially inept way. I honestly did not know how to deal with people well. Now look at me! I’m graduating with one of the most solitary majors of all!

Okay, maybe I need to look deeper.

As I was back home, I could go to the store and see people my age who didn’t go to college or leave Grand Ledge. This isn’t to say I’m better by any means, but it became very clear early on that I needed to get the hell out of Dodge (which was the nickname I gave my childhood home). My outlook on life, and my ability to play well with others, clearly needed some kind of adjustment, but not everyone requires that change.

So to fight all of the seemingly depressing comments I make about myself in the name of comedy and making sense of this mad, mad, mad, mad world we live in, I will say that I’m pretty happy with what these last five years have turned me into. I may not understand all of the complexities of the world, but I at least feel more mature and prepared to exist effectively.

“Whoa,” you may be thinking. “That’s heavy.”

Ease up, seemingly inebriated student. Hopefully you’ve felt some of this, as well. Going to a university — regardless of living in the dorms or spending a lot of time on-campus or learning how to smoke hookah — helps you find a lot of like-minded people, which can be very eye-opening. Without getting too specific, spending all of this time at university-level courses taught me that a lot of people like doing the same things that I do, and in many cases do it a lot better than I do.

I know, I know! I was shocked, too…

My first year as a columnist was about establishing my roots as a regular in the Grand Valley Lanthorn, getting my foot in the door and hopefully making people laugh. But this past year has been all about change and, hopefully, maturity. I’ll credit GVSU for that, but in many respects, anyone going to any college or university can say that.

It may take a while to notice these changes, as they are inherently gradual, like my strained back (washing machines are damn heavy).

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