If you haven’t already done so, you should probably consider where you are living next semester. Not only that, and arguably more important, you want to start thinking about with whom you will room.

There is no excuse for that previous rhyme. I apologize.

The people that you live with can have just as much impact on your living situation as where you live. As long as there are four walls, a roof and free Wi-Fi, every place is pretty much the same, so you should really concentrate on finding the right roommates.

I have had some good and bad luck when it comes to roommates, and through some of the horror stories I’ve heard, there are a few kinds of roommates that you should avoid if you have the opportunity. Of course, every roommate is going to possess certain qualities you wish they didn’t (such as watching their porn at an uncomfortable volume), but there are people with personalities tattooed onto their very bones that you wouldn’t spend two hours with, let alone two semesters:

The clinger: Chances are, you’re a nice person with decent qualities. People respond to that. They flock to it. Clingers will find any excuse to hang out with you and incorporate themselves in any activity you are doing.

If the following conversation transpires, you have a clinger:

CLINGER: What are you doing tonight? Can I come?

YOU: Going to the bar. I didn’t think you were 21.

CLINGER: I can go buy a fake ID really quick! Anything to hang out with you.

YOU: Wait, how did you unlock my door?

The thief: Do you spend money on necessities? Food and liquor and contraceptives? There are people out there who don’t. Like some college klepto, they steal everything you own for reasons you will never understand.

If the following conversation transpires, you have a thief:

YOU: Hey, do you know what happened to my Doritos?

THIEF: Oh, I saw them on top of the fridge and assumed they were fair game.

YOU: Wait, how do you eat six bags of chips in less than a day?!

The drunk: This roommate may seem like a good choice at first. He’s always the life of the party, gets girls to come over and knows a lot of really fun drinking games. However, it should also come as no surprise that he dropped out three semesters ago to “find himself” (somewhere at the bottom of a half-gallon of Popov) and has no respect for what day it is.

If the following conversation transpires, you have a drunk:

DRUNK: Shot?

YOU: Dude, it’s 10 o’clock in the morning.

DRUNK: Shot?

YOU: …on a Tuesday.

DRUNK: Shot?

YOU: No.

DRUNK: Lightweight.

YOU: Wait, how do you not have, like, ten different hangovers right now?

It can be difficult to catch the warning signs early on, so be careful with your decisions. Otherwise, those four walls you spent $4,000 on might as well be padded. [email protected]