Heading back to a (not so happy) home

Darien Kent, junior, talks with Tyler Konell, freshman, in the LGBT Resource Center on Nov. 13 in Allendale, MI.

Kasey Garvelink

Darien Kent, junior, talks with Tyler Konell, freshman, in the LGBT Resource Center on Nov. 13 in Allendale, MI.

Ashlyn Korienek

Holiday breaks are approaching, and campus will be nearly vacant as many Grand Valley State University students travel home to reunite with family. Many are relieved. Others have more uncomfortable feelings toward this time of the year.

Students face different personal situations when confronting the holiday break and spending time with family. However, many individuals within the LGBT community do not have healthy relationships with family or are estranged entirely.

Marla Wick, assistant director of the Milton E. Ford LGBT Resource Center, said people in the LGBT community come from all different backgrounds and cultures. In college, she said, students articulate their identity or “authentic selves” in ways that were previously unavailable to them.

However, dealing with identity and expression during the holidays can add emotional trauma.

“Many of us take great joy during the holidays whether we choose to celebrate it or not,” Wick said. “Although, the holidays can be a particularly difficult time for some of us in the community. During the holiday season, these new experiences and identities can conflict with old expectations, producing stress and feelings of alienation.”

In difficult or unsafe situations, Wick said the number one concern is the safety of the individual. She said individuals who perceive the holidays as stressful need to engage in self-care, confirm their boundaries and not be afraid to take breaks.

“Experiencing a sense of distance or rejection from one’s family is painful,” Wick said. “Unfortunately, it is common for people in the LGBT community where identities can be the source of that rejection or distance.

“Sometimes it can be a relief just being in the presence of other people who hold the same identity or views.”

Despite this harsh reality, Wick said many within the community are supported by chosen family. This family accounts for whoever the individual has developed a strong bond with in a network of support. She said this can assure connection with the LGBT community and validate identities in ways that the family of origin may not.

Scott Burden, graduate assistant at the center, said the fear that family will act harmfully when returning home and expressing identity may occur whether the individual is out or not. In this way, he said chosen family can provide a positive relationship and support.

“In general, going home to family can be difficult for those in the community,” Burden said. “The LGBT Resource Center is here to provide a safe space. Hopefully, students can find a chosen family and a support network here, which many have.”

Wick added that issues faced by marginalized populations typically struggle to make it into the public consciousness.

“These issues are perceived as simply not that significant, or worse, a function of individual choice,” she said. “The mainstream focused on LGBT issues as almost exclusively tied to marriage for so long, it didn’t leave much room for other issues around access, health, equality and life chances.”

The LGBT Resource Center hosts a “Queer in the New Year” holiday celebration on Dec. 11 for those in the community to celebrate holiday festivities and discuss strategies in dealing with problematic situations.

To view other programs and resources by the LGBT Resource Center, visit www.gvsu.edu/lgbtrc.