Redeeming aspects of riding the Rapid

While Mr. Slattery’s writing style is not exactly my cup of tea, more my cup of paint thinner, I must let it be known that his assertions about the Rapid, our beloved bus system, are pure poppycock.

As an advocate of all transit which is public, including women riding on my bicycle’s handlebars, I must rise in defense of the venerable Rapid routes circling our crowded campus.

Firstly the wait … five minutes standing in the cold builds character and improves posture. Also, nobody said tailgating prior to the bus’s arrival was frowned upon. Let’s make the most of the situation and cook up some burgers and tip a few sodas back.

While the interiors of the 50, 48 and 37 may not resemble the daycare Mr. Slatterly’s mother still drops him off at after school it is certainly not a disappointment. Lively hues of myriad blues cover the walls while the charcoal grey floors always start their day cleaner than a soldier’s dress uniform. Colorful ads spot the ceiling urging passengers to fill out the census by April 10.

On the exterior the Rapid is almost as attractive as the women Donald Trump dates. The bus’ sleek design is also kept cleaner than 99 percent of all cars driven by GVSU students.

In Slattery’s nightmare scenario he neglects to mention the Rapid’s environmental benefits. Even non-hybrid buses burn less fuel and spew fewer emissions than would be the case if all bus passengers drove their private cars. This is especially true when we count the men driving their deliberately mudded-up trucks whose exhaust note exclaims “I’m compensating for something.”

So while Mr. Slattery is being chauffeured to class by his butler Winston the rest of us germ infested, personal space invading commoners will be taking the Rapid because of its practicality, environmental friendliness, and sanitary appearance.

Andrew Justus

GVL Columnist