Column: Grief comes in many forms, so does overcoming it

Allison Bair, Staff writer

Grief. n. Deep sorrow, especially caused by one’s death.

Only the luckiest of us have never experienced this emotion.

Though the definition highlights death, you don’t have to go through the death of a loved one to experience it. The loss of a car, moving away from your childhood home, a breakup. I believe grief would be better defined as something of high value suddenly missing.

I really struggled with this week’s column until it finally clicked. My grandfather is dying.  I also am hurting from the loss of a friendship. I’ve lost some pets along the way and classmates who never got to graduate. Although I don’t have the most tragic past, I would like to say I’m fairly familiar with the feeling in your heart that something is missing. 

There’s a few types, in my experience, that I can name.

The first is the most obvious one. Death of a loved one can be so lonely at times, yet you know people are there for you. Yes, this one hurts probably the most, but it brings us closer together. The closeness heals, whether temporary or permanently.

The second would be the classic breakup. This can be of a significant other, a friend or even family. I’d like to put this one up there with the death. Although not gone forever, you lost someone close to you. You experienced the end of such a large emotion that you don’t know where to go next. But again, usually there’s support. Although you may have to step back from certain mutual friends and family, you can always start over. There is always the chance of having someone better in your life.

The third kind, I would say, is the loneliest kind of grief. This is the loss of something sentimental to you. Your childhood bedroom is no longer yours, the house is emptier. You miss a place that was always yours and now it’s gone.

Grief sucks. It’s a trench that’s easy to fall into. I’m not a licensed therapist or anyone special. I’m just some person. But here’s my advice: it takes time.

Make sure to feel your emotions. Make sure to wallow in self-pity. When you get tired of that, get up and keep moving forward.

It’s cheesy to say, but you’re not the only person going through a difficult time. Don’t be afraid to lean on other people.

Grief is a process with no finish line. Be kind to yourself, give it time. The sun will shine again.