Students should embrace los foreign languages

Chris Slattery

Foreign languages are sexy. There is something about those Spanish rolled ‘r’s and the German phlegm-inducing ‘h’s that get me all hot and bothered.
Too much information? Apologies.
This is why a poll conducted a couple of weeks ago by the Grand Valley Lanthorn has got me… well, hot and bothered. This time, however, I am hot with frustration and bothered with bother. The poll asked if students should be required to learn a foreign language and an alarming 41% of the poll-takers said “nein.”
Now, disregarding the fact that the ability to speak another language makes you sound 100 percent more Rico Suave, there are countless other reasons why learning a foreign tongue shouldn’t just be available, but required.
Before I get into that, though, let me just say that I am terrible at Spanish. I took it for three years in high school and am currently in my third semester here at GVSU, but I am still nowhere near proficient. It’s not as if I get kicks off of mispronouncing present progressive forms or that the difference between “to be” and “to go” is particularly challenging, but my mind prefers thinking about things besides reevaluating the way I look at language. Like Sudokus.
But where I fail at Spanish is also where the most merit lies—and every foreign language teacher says this at one point or another—because studying how another language works helps in analyzing my own language: American.
I say “American” to differentiate between the other forms of the English language, where “color” adds a ‘u’ and “theater” ends in an ‘e’ and “soccer” doesn’t “exist.” Only in language is our country so stubborn to ignore the European traditions, despite their superiority. Well, that and the metric system. And health care…
At this point, it should come as no surprise that English is the most confusing language in the world, and that is even taking into account the societies that use a series of clicks and pops to communicate. With that confusing bundle of words and phrases out of the way, it should be no problem learning another language, right?
Whatever the answer may be (“no,” the answer is “no”), it doesn’t take away from the fact that we will all likely come in contact with a person who only speaks in a language besides English, whether it is for work or on vacation or on a study abroad trip (which is a bit of both worlds, really).
The point is, even though foreign languages may suck, they have a lot of pragmatic value. A foreign language can teach one about their own language, by showing the intricacies and overlooked aspects in relation to each other. It is a skill that can come in handy at the most inane parts of a person’s life, like calculus or how to tie a Windsor knot.
Therefore, every student should be required to learn a foreign language. Once this goal is accomplished, the world will be a much sexier place.
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