As much as it may pain my prejudiced little indie heart, I can’t think of many good reasons why alt-crap rock band Nickelback shouldn’t play at the Detroit Lions’ Thanksgiving game.

A recent petition has gone online where Nickelback anti-fans (an anagram of “ain’t fans”) tell the world that they will not stand for Monticello representing our own Lions. (That’s right, I’m doing currency jokes here!) More than 50,000 people are saying that they would rather fill their ears with sand than hear Nickelback play a few songs during the halftime show for the biggest Lions game in years.

But when I hear all of the reasons why Nickelback shouldn’t perform, they all sound a bit hollow. Like Nickelback, right?

One argument against the show is that fact that we have plenty of artists from Michigan, let alone Detroit, that could perform instead of the Canadian-bred Nickelback. This makes sense, considering we only want locals doing our halftime shows, as shown through The Who’s performance at Super Bowl XLIV.

The Black Eyed Peas also performed at a Super Bowl, because some people aren’t convinced that they are from some digital planet far away.

You want locals, Michiganders? Demand the Insane Clown Posse and quit whining.

But I’m sure that if we look back at previous Lions Thanksgiving Day halftime shows, there will be a record of fantastic bands that Nickelback will tarnish with their presence:

2010: Kid Rock

2009: A tribute to Motown

2008: Jesse McCartney

Okay, I could excuse the “Bawitdaba” mediocrity of Kid Rock because he’s from the area, and Motown actually makes sense for D-Town. But what was going on in 2008? Does McCartney have some relationship with Detroit that I am not aware of? That anyone is aware of?

So the list of performers isn’t as sacred as it’s made out to be. I guess people just have a problem with Nickelback’s music.

I mean, does anyone have solid evidence as to why Nickelback is so bad? If we take out the excuse “Because they suck,” what do we have? Poor lyrics? Inadequate musicianship? I hate to say it, but Nickelback isn’t the musical Antichrist that people hyperbolize them to be. I dislike their music with the rest of society, but it’s because I don’t have an affinity for over-processed guitars and half-gravel/half-gargle vocals. Some people actually have an appetite for that, similar to how some people actually have an appetite for White Castle.

Coldplay frontman Chris Martin has even defended Nickelback in the past, which to some is the equivalent of Dr. Kevorkian vouching for Dr. Conrad Murray.

I sincerely doubt that the NFL is going to cave and get someone else, even though indie-soul artist and Michigan native Mayor Hawthorne has said he would love to perform (likely to a collection of shrugs and confused expressions). There’s no good reason why Nickelback should perform this Thanksgiving, but there’s no good reason why they shouldn’t.

The show will go on, even if no one is that psyched about it.

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