19-word reviews of 19 movies and books during COVID-19, Vol. 1

19-word+reviews+of+19+movies+and+books+during+COVID-19%2C+Vol.+1

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Kellen Voss, Print Associate Editor

During this quarantine, pretty much the entire country has been trapped in their house, scrolling through their twitter timeline and learning how to bake various things. In the time spent not worrying about this pandemic, I got to watch a lot of quality movies or read a few amazing books. Every movie on this list is available on either Netflix or Hulu, all you got to do is steal your roommates password or something. In an effort to keep myself pre-occupied, I have written a series of reviews of these movies, all of which are 19 words or less. Because hey, what else am I going to do with no sports being on?

If you have a 19-word review of a movie you love that you think would make a great addition to a future volume of this column, simply email it to [email protected] Stay safe out there, fellow home bodies.

Big Time Adolescence

Pete Davidson is a very convincing burnout and hilarious, Griffin Gluck breakout movie, this is your brain on drugs

 

Plus One

Underrated rom com, The girl was hilarious and the guy was meh, Ed Begley Jr is a great dad

 

The Escort

Clever concept, Jokes aren’t great but storyline is, why is every guy in these movies kind of an asshole? #Journalism

 

Tom Segura: Ball Hog 

A lot of comics try to be offensive for shock value. Segura does it but he’s a freaking genius

 

The Social Network

So captivating. Characterization through lawsuits is smart. Jesse Eisenberg is a lovable prick. How do people code when drunk???

 

Drinking Buddies

Olivia Wilde is solid, I love the guy from new girl, but how do you cheat on Anna Kendrick?

 

The perks of being a Wall Flower

Emma Watson is captivating, this movie will make you cry, I hope to one day find my tunnel song

 

Set It Up

Pro tip: don’t wear a suit to a baseball game and remember their favorites. Fall in love over pizza

 

Coffee and Kareem

Confusing plot , Ed Helms is great at being awkward, Taraji P. Henson is way too good for this movie

 

Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell

Makes you rethink the way you think of success. Canadian parents need to procreate in April for Hockey’s sake

 

Rounders 

Matt Damon and Ed Norton are an excellent pair, girlfriend’s a wet blanket, let’s go play some f*cking cards

 

Salt

Angelina Jolie is a badass, but even she must be in pain after jumping into water from an airplane

 

The Green Hornet

Seth Rogen is hilarious, isn’t great at being an asshole, the action is decent, and the tech is sick

 

Molly’s Game

Jessica Chastain’s performance is subtle but remarkable. This movie makes you want to play poker, Idris Elba is brilliant

 

Django Unchained

Jamie Foxx should have gotten all the awards, Leo is perfect foil, you can’t take eyes off the screen

 

Groundhog Day

Murray isn’t just funny, but a damn good actor. Murray isn’t just funny, but a damn good actor

(I know it’s 18, but they both have contractions, so I’m counting them each as 1.5 words, so the math works out)

 

Good Boys

An accurate depiction of middle school and its friendships, and the bean bag boys could be future comedy stars

 

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell

Reading about social epidemics is a great distraction from an actual pandemic. Also, we  should’ve watched Blues Clues more

 

The Lovebirds

A lot of smart, fast, quips. I want to watch anything Issa Rae and/or Kumail Nanjiani are in